It's a Girl!

Please join us in welcoming Piper Grace Yates into the world!

Here We Go!

Just got back from the doctor--sonogram shows slightly low amniotic fluid level (shouldn't there be a light on her belly for that? LOW FLUID), so the doctor wants Kristin in the hospital tonight. We got permission to run home and grab the bags (shhh, don't tell the doctor that I'm doing this!). Induction probably begins Saturday morning!

Maybe This'll Work?

Bored with waiting for the baby to arrive, Kristin and I took a ride to run some errands, and despite hitting all the potholes I could: no baby; however, Agway has a prime location next to a traffic light, and you'd never guess what they had out front, so here's a photo. You can click it for a larger view.

Kristin gets all the credit for this one. "Look, 50% off!" she exclaimed knowing that I too was eyeing in disbelief the second sidecar product experience in three months as we sat at a red light. Check out the second photo. You surely know the Life Is Good line of clothing, but can you believe that they made a Jake and his dog shirt with Jake driving a green sidecar motorcycle with the dog in the sidecar? One of my students saw it this summer and bought it for me. I sent the company a photo of Lily and me for comparison, and they thought it was a hoot. The design was discontinued last year, but they had five shirts left. You know I had to buy them--hey, the baby is going to need something to wear!

Back to our story: Before the light turned green, we decided it wouldn't hurt to at least see how much it cost. You can see what happened next....

Hey, at twice the price it would be worth the smiles on our faces and the looks we got from passers-by when we put the motorcycle on the lawn next to the balloon. Keep on laughing with us--we'll need reminders of this kind of stuff when the baby is crying up a storm! Okay, I'm off to give Kristin a ride in the sidecar to bounce that baby out!

Zippo.

That's right, folks. You haven't seen anything interesting in the past nine days because there's been nothing interesting to report. Last Friday's doctor visit? "See you next year!" He says. Ha! Well, the baby was at "minus 3" (apparently the Johnson Space Center worked with obstetricians to determine launch of the infant) last week, and now it's at "minus 2" and counting.

I guess we shouldn't be too disappointed. After all, the due date isn't until Monday, so there's still time for jumping jacks, rides in the sidecar, climbing the stairs at the Empire State Building.... A little girl at one of the schools said her mom tried cod liver oil and vodka. "It didn't work, and she said it was a waste of vodka."

Since the "GO!" bags are packed for Kristin, Lily, and me, let's turn our attention to that enormous throbbing-red Hazmat can we bought for the diapers.

It has "Danger, Will Robinson!" written all over it, and it holds way too much to be safe for indoor air quality no matter how well it seals, but since the diaper battle goes to the disposables, we needed someplace upstairs to hold the toxins until we're nearly asphyxiated.

Maybe I should show you the before photo of the baby's dresser, but I'm too lazy to go take a picture of it now. I saw some interesting painted furniture in a store up the Hudson, and thought I'd emulate it for the baby's room. I bought an unpainted piece, and it's about to go under the brush. Keep your fingers crossed that it gets done before the child is picking out his or her own clothes.

Until we have some serious effacing, dilation, or contractions less than five minutes apart, have a Merry Christmas and (just in case) a Happy New Year!

Pat This!

The bunny you sickos. I still remember that book from my childhood, so it was sweet that Pat the Bunny was one of the sweet gifts the teachers at Lafayette gave us on Friday. We ate that huge cake all weekend even after we left some at school and gave some to the neighbors. I think the amniotic fluid has turned to corn syrup.

We had a little preview of coming attractions last night: BIG Braxton-Hicks contraction. Kristin needed to take a warm shower to get comfortable. That was the motivation she needed to kick into high gear and finish straightening up the nursery, packing her bag for the hospital, taking stock of the diaper inventory, counting the onesies, folding the blankets, and eating more ice cream (well, I did enable that last one--Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Chunk).

By the way, we cannot endorse the B&J Mint Chocolate Chunk ice cream. Ardent fans of the organic B&J vanilla (YES, it DOES taste different than the regular vanilla), we stared in disbelief at the lone container of Mint Chocolate Chunk in the freezer at Stop & Shop (at 10:55 p. freakin' m. Do you think I'm kidding? Look at the time I posted this!). Could it be that B&J FINALLY made their version of mint chocolate chip?? Skeptical, we tossed it into the basket with a pint of vanilla as Plan B. Did the sandpaper aftertaste really color our opinions, or did it have something to do with the fact that we nearly polished off the pint while watching the exciting PowerPoint scroll on the town's TV public access page? Hey, we're preparing ourselves for the thrilling social life we're in for.

If the Shoe Fits...

...or doesn't as the case may be. You're looking at the most elegant footwear that my dear wife can put on these days. After trying on a pair of heels the other day, I heard something like, "I look like an old lady!" Of course she only meant her puffy feet bulging out of the shoes. She's a ravishing beauty in every other respect.

A visit to the doctor on Friday was pleasantly uneventful, so we continue to bore you happily with nothing other than good news. The baby's head is down, and the baby is facing the correct way. Cervix is thinning as expected, so Kristin's on target for a delivery in the next week or two!

The biggest problems? Deliveries. The salespeople for the baby's dresser and rug were optimistic when they said those items would be here by now. "Maybe before Christmas?" they mused. "Sure, whatever, I'll just tell my wife to keep her legs crossed."

Lily should be back to herself by then. Just when we thought she was okay, she treated Kristin to a round of bodily fluids from both ends. Fortunately, that happened at the vet's office as well, so the doctor got to see the problem and hear the gurgling belly: "I couldn't beleive I could hear that from across the room!" the doc told me today when she called to check in on the patient.

For the next five days, Lily is enjoying poulet et rice avec le Pepcid AC, and I get dooty examination duty. Other than sleeping a bit more, she seems fine, so tell your furry friends to keep their paws crossed.

Christmas Baby Marketing 101

When considering the design of newborn clothing to be sold during the Christmas season, the savvy seamstress will take into account the nearly unlimited power of the "Oh, that's sooooo cute!" reflex common in the pregnant woman and the husband she has dragged into the store with her after he has been exposed to far too many hours of Oprah and Martha Stewart. Snowsuits, onesies, and socks with seasonal appeal such as embroidered Santas and reindeer, embroidered "Elf in training" or "Santa's little helper" simply cannot be resisted by the nesting mother.

Okay, so while Kristin saw it first, I admit to saying, "Well, we don't really have an outfit for the baby to come home in yet." Hey, if the due date is right, what else would you expect? If we hadn't seen this Santa suit, then you would have seen pictures of the baby coming home in a Christmas stocking for sure.

Honestly, it's been cold here, and the fleece is as soft as--you know I'm going to say it--a baby's bottom. Besides, realizing the possibility of a delivery after Christmas is a distinct possibility, we put back the "Elf in training" onesie.

Newborn Experts

Yep, that's right. We're certified experts now. Kristin and I sat through five grueling hours of a newborn care class at the hospital on Sunday. We learned critical facts such as: Don't shake the baby (does that mean rides in the sidecar are out?); fold the top of the diaper down to make room for the umbilical stump; the swaddle wrap; make sure the car seat is in tight; and don't mess with Ricky and Jen.

Holy cow did they make everyone uncomfortable. The nurse began explaining vaccines, and they got on their high horse about how the safety of the public health is B.S. and we don't want that done, blah, blah, blah. Kristin was a Papmpers Pro, and the guy next to her kept trying to cheat by looking at her technique. Either that or he's really hoping that the guys at the office don't see this photo. By the way, we were randomly assigned a boy doll, and the clothes had cars on them....

Today, we began decorating the tree a little late, so I was a bit shaky on the ladder. Too much egg nog I guess.... The tree got its trimmings, and we had our Christmas brownie (no cookie baking yet) while we kept an eye on the sleeping Lily. Kristin had a preview of coming sleepless nights today when Lily woke her up around 3:00 a.m. with a gurgling belly. Up and down, outside and in. The poor puppy had a belly ache and couldn't settle down. Kristin tried to keep her in good spirits--she even made Lily some rice, but just as I was about to leave the house, the rice reversed course and I got my preview of coming attractions as I mopped up the barely digested grains and a bunch of grass she had eaten earlier.

Again, we're happy to report that everything is boring. We love that and hope to continue boring you with, "Everything's going well!" For at least the next 65 years.

Green Lights

Holly, mistletoe, garland, the Ural, Al Gore (so he thinks), and Kristin are all in the green! A short visit to the doctor yesterday included a precautionary ultrasound because the nurse practitioner thought Kristin was measuring large, but all is well.

The baby is in the proper position, and the doctor had nothing to say other than, "Looks good, see you next week!" Okay, so he probably said more than that, but you get the idea. The ultrasound image given to Kristin is here, but we don't know what the heck it is. If you have any ideas what we're looking at, feel free to comment.

With three weeks to go, the weekly visits begin, including normal internal exams, which Kristin is not especially excited about. The hospital has been notified, we think we have our pediatrician picked out, and the car seat fits in the car.

The nursery is almost there. Our crib was kindly donated by the family of a student I tutor, but a couple of parts had been missing until yesterday. A rug is on order, and Kristin's mother is making drapes and a slipcover for the cusions on a glider that has made the rounds of a few new parents now.

We're still weeding out the closets and basement to make room for miscellaneous baby gear. Books are the biggest stumbling block. We're finding it tough to let many of them go.

Thanks to Steve, I finally got up in a plane. We had a great flight on Thursday just tooling around. I hereby charge the two of you with keeping me flying at least once a month in the next six months!

Otherwise, we're happy to report that there is nothing to report. We love boring, and we're hoping that there are more uneventful posts after this one. Of course, I'll have to start pontificating or endorsing products as some unnamed residents of Virginia who read this blog demand more frequent updates. For now, it's out to get a Christmas tree before the rain and snow.